i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
