I don't usually arrange sex via text message
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
