i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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