every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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