this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
