Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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