Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No stitches, just platelets and will power
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
