you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
