before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
