I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
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I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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