I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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