It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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