just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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