i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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