She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This is classic penis vs brain.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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