i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
