I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
