are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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