hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
