thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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