mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My bed smells like the plague
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