YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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