thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
