made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize