Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
