Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
