Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
