So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So much rum. So many feels.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
