Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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