it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
they're like a gay fantastic four
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
