Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
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