The brown eye won't let me do that either.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
