Ambien. No doubt about it.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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