He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize