oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
