Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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