GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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