she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
