Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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