Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
