I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
