Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
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I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
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NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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