i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Couch. On fire.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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