i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
