They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
