I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
