we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
