Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
