you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
