the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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