...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize