after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
