Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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