I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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