Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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