I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
