Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You are a genius and a whore.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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