I feel great
I just peed on a car
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
