He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
