I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
