Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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