that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
