any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize