Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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