you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You're completely useless in the revolution.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
