I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
