man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
