my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
