WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
