I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
